A Tour of Witches 5 Research
by Venussail
Summary: This is just another humorous oneshot I thought of when I was having writer's block for another one of my fics. Enjoy and don't forget to R&R!


A/N: Konichiwa, mi-na! Here is the short oneshot I promised all of you (although it is a little late). This is meant to be humorous, not realistic, so I'd rather not receive any reviews saying things like "That would never happen!" I know it would never happen, but that's why it's fanfiction. Moving on. This is set shortly after Eudial's appearance in the third arc. To the story we go!

Disclaimer: I don't know how many times I will have to say this before the lawyers understand that Naoko Takuchi owns the rights to Sailor Moon, not me.

A Tour of Witches 5 Research

"Hello, I'm Sara Clark and you're watching Channel 4 news, the station where you get your information. Today we are going to take a dangerous tour of the workplace of the Witches 5, adversaries of the sailor senshi and part of the sinister villain group, the Death Busters. We're at the lab's entrance now. Let's take a look inside!"

Upon entering the lab, the news reporters could hear an echo of maniacal laughter that filled the room to the brim, making them shake in their boots. Though they were scared, they needed to get their story, and couldn't allow fear to stop them. They went down the staircase to the bottom level and approached the source of the evil laughter, Dr. Suichi Tomoe, who was currently standing over his experiments.

"Excuse me doctor," the news reporter said politely. The man in question turned around, ready to kill whichever one of his underlings disturbed him. Let's just say he was more than a little surprised to see a woman standing there with a business suit on rather than a lab coat. "Who are you people?" Dr. Tomoe interrogated. "Hello, Dr. Tomoe. I'm Sara Clark with Channel 4 news. And to answer your second question, let's just say we have our ways." "The news, huh? Tell me, what kind of story could you possibly be doing here?" "This week we have a new special called 'Spotlight on Villains.' We're here to take a tour of Witches 5 Research, if that would be alright with you." Dr. Tomoe thought about it for a moment. "Fine," he said, "but don't dare touch anything…." "Got it!" the news team said quickly before running off.

They opened the door marked "Witches 5" apprehensively. "Mimete!" they heard a woman scream. "Wonder what that was all about. Let's go find out," Sara Clark said to her viewers. The news team made their way to the center of the room, where they were surrounded by all types of machinery conducting experiments while three of the Witches oversaw them. "Wow, look at all of this scientific machinery! We'll have to come back to this as soon as we find whoever was shouting," the newscaster said as she and her team headed toward the locker room. When they entered, they were greeted rather rudely by a woman with red hair, red eyes, and glasses.

"Who are you?" the woman asked snottily. "I'm Sara Clark, and we're with Channel 4 News," the anchorwoman replied. "Did I just hear someone say a news team was here?!" a voice shrieked. Suddenly, a figure dashed out from the shadows and pushed her colleague away for the camera. She grabbed the microphone from Sara and gave a wink to the camera before speaking. Sara and co. simply sweatdropped.

"Hello, beloved people of Japan. My name is Mime- I mean, Mimi Hanyu," she caught herself quickly. "My dream is to be a star, so if there are any movie producers or music studios out there listening to this broadcast, call me! My number is-" "Mimete…." The red haired woman growled. "Whoops, gotta go!" Mimete said as she ran back into the shadows.

The red eyed woman fixed her glasses that had become lopsided from her fall. "Well, that was interesting," Sara said. "Now that you've recovered, would you mind telling our viewers who you are?" "My name is Eudial, and I am the leader of the Witches 5," the woman with the now fixed glasses answered. "Wow, that's a pretty big job. Would you mind telling us what your job is like? "With the death of the incompetent Kaolinite, I have taken over her job as the seeker of the talismans." "Talismans? What are those?" "That is classified information," Eudial said without a trace of warmth in her voice. "Okay…" the newscaster said, not wanting to push the subject any further.

"So, what do the other four witches do while you do that?" "For right now, they simply conduct research that will help us achieve our goals, but if by some miracle those sailor brats manage to kill me, the second-in-command will take over." "And who might that be?" "Mimete…" Eudial said, an aggravated tone present in her voice. "By the sound of your voice, I'm guessing you two aren't on the best of terms." "No, we're not. In fact- Hey, you! Who said you could touch that!"

The news team turned around to see who Eudial was yelling at. They stared in horror when they saw that one of their cameramen had broken the golden rule Dr. Tomoe had set: not to touch anything.

Brian, as he was called, was currently holding up a beaker full of pink liquid. "Brian, what are you doing?!" Sara shouted. Brian finally noticed that people were staring at him and dropped the beaker to the ground out of nervousness. "NOOOOO!" the people around him bellowed slow and distorted, as if time had slowed down (or at least that's what it seemed like to him).

Suddenly, Dr. Tomoe burst through the door. "What was that breaking noise?" he asked hurriedly. Everyone pointed to Brian. "Oh, so I see you disobeyed me and touched something," he said, his voice strangely calm. "Well, now we're going to have to dispose of you and your friends. Eudial, Mimete, Tellu, Viluy, Cyprin, I'll leave you to handle this." "Yes, doctor," they said in unison. Dr. Tomoe walked away, chuckling maniacally under his breath. "What?" Sara asked worriedly. But before she and her team could even make an attempt to get away, the Witches 5 pounced on them. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" they all screamed as the evil-doers took their malicious revenge out on them.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed my pathetic attempt at humor. I know it was really off the wall, so it probably didn't appease everyone. Whether you loved it or hated it, please leave a review so I can do better next time! Also, be sure to check out my other two stories (one of which is a chapter fic) if you haven't already!


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